- “What’s more beautiful than a beautiful dog? Two beautiful dogs.”
- “Anybody want a snack?”
- “You have blue eyes. Soulful blue eyes.”
- “Don’t put your nose in my armpit.”
- “I wish I had two beautiful dogs.” Opens door from garage to kitchen. “Wishes come true!”
- “Stop pulling.”
- “A beagle is gonna do what a beagle’s gonna do.”
- “Bitches, please.”
- “The universe is 15 billion years old, and it’s so big, a beam of light would die of old age traveling from the first star to the last, but in all the times we could have been born, in all the worlds we could have called home, somehow we found each other. That’s how lucky we are.”
4 Things You Should Know About “9 Things I Say to My Dogs.”
- If I were smart, I would have said the last one to my wife first because I love her madly, but sometimes when I’m talking to the dogs, I’m riffin’ like a griffon and words just sort of flop out.
- In my own defense, I do take my wife out to dinner on Saturday nights much more often than I do the dogs.
- Abbie (left) is not a beagle, of course, but she has some hound dog in her blood, so close enough.
- Abbie is also from Ohio, which we never tire of reminding her.
What do you say to your dogs? Comments enabled below.