High Fantasy of Neatness

in creative writing journal

The high fantasy of neatness.

I hoped this book would be like a true-life Downton Abbey, perhaps more focused on Mr. Carson, stories about being a butler with a few ideas for keeping a tidy house. Turns out The Butler’s Guide to Running the Home and Other Graces is nearly cover-to-cover methods and ideas on keeping a mansion and its posh ownership in top form.

I’m on page 80.

My mother was house-proud. Every Saturday she gave our home the equivalent of a spring cleaning, logging eight solid hours on her weekend, and afterward the house smelled lemony until the cigarette smoke blanketed everything again (about two hours in the summer, ten minutes in the winter).

I dream of being a neater, tidier person, but not to the point that I’m actually going to do anything about it. I can usually find my keys. Usually. Given time. With help from Alice.

And while I may not own a chandelier, at least now I can tell you the secret to cleaning one. Hire an Englishman.

Tidiness Update

Life-Changing Magic of Giving Up

The wife was finally able to pull the downward dog from the icy pond. I would put the chair into storage, but with summer just around the corner, it seems rather pointless.

One should avoid the stigma of being considered a fussbudget.

Leave a reply, but please be fancy.