Gossip.

I love it when someone unknowingly confirms my nasty secret opinions of other people. It’s like finding sad treasure.

I’m probably very normal in this way.

Woman holding box on elevator.

Her thumbs were shaped almost, but not quite, like miniature light bulbs. If I ever saw her give the double “thumbs up” sign, my anthracite heart would likely explode.

Assholery, please meet Kookery.

A friend of mine remarked how much he loved the word “assholery.”

Amen, brother.

“Asshole” is part of my bedrock vocabulary. The suffix creates a zippy derivative for this seasoned, cast-iron word.

“Kook” is more of a luxury item, and even more so, “kookery” (the business of being a kook).

I’m certain this is the year  the word “kookery” will take off in the public discourse just like “gravitas” once did, but then again, I’ve been saying this since August 29, 2008.

Poor, poor John McCain.