Yesterday, I worked from the library again, hoping to cure my case of the creative gacks with a change of venue. It’s such magical place—books everywhere! I even had my favorite carrel and the nearby trashcan rocked an unused liner.

At noon, I wasn’t paying attention when I was at the soda machine and accidentally ordered a Diet Pepsi (NOW ASPARTAME FREE!). Also, the food machine would not accept cash or credit card. I tried flattery, to which I myself am highly susceptible, but my brand of obscure re-run whimsy proved ineffective.

All this led to a rather boring lunch. When I eat a sandwich, even a tasty one like I had, I need something crunchy. It isn’t lunchtime umami unless I can hear it.

Potato chips are best, of course. Pretzels and white cheddar popcorn take silver and bronze, respectively. Crackers, pita chips, Oreo cookies, and Funyons round out the peloton. Carrots sticks, cucumber slices, corn flakes, croutons, and raw celery are all last resort options. Original flavor SunChips don’t count because you can never reliably find them.

Neither fancy, nor relevant.

I know all this isn’t very imaginative, but when dealing with gackery—or, for that matter, any word ending in “ery”—it’s best to chalk up a few petty victories to build on.