I break months of blogging silence for this very important message: Flip-flops should be banned from libraries.

How can I concentrate on the serious business of writing my novel that serves the even more vital purpose of helping me avoid writing cover letters, drumming up freelance work, and being a contributing member of society while subjected to all this noisy footwear?

What kind of parent brings their child to the library on a perfectly beautiful Saturday, anyway? Cheapskates and achievers.

Flip-flops, in general, are the worst. It combines essentially going barefoot in public (vulgar), that suction slurp-SLAP sound (unnatural and annoying), and a Kardashian need for attention (vulgarer).

For the want of a heel strap, civilization was lost.

Words I Looked up in the Dictionary Today

Aspic: a jelly made with meat stock.

Bandy: curved legs, with the knees wide apart.

Frantic: wild with fear, anxiety.

Manic: wild and apparently deranged.

Slapdash: done hurriedly, carelessly.